Training crow’nuckles-1

About two weeks after the induction into my company and to training academy everythings seemed to be going smooth and fine(atleast I pretend so) new city, new friends, new room, new gals(though I’m getting bored now). One fine evening while I was struggling to correct my syntax errors, all (only)boys from our .net batch and mainframe batch where called in for a (private!!)meeting and we where damn sure something had gone wrong. As we were waiting at class room D i was wondering whether this D stands for discipline!!
The guys sittin next to me asked “kya hogaya bhai!!” uh!! Hindi!!
“anything wrong? Why they’ve made us sit separately?”
I replied with a suspecting voice “someone must have done something,.. something terrrrribly wrong”
The one sitting before me turned around and said “I think its about passing comments on gals in our class” uh!! Now things getting interesting. “I saw ‘rasgulla’ talking with academy head in the morning . She must have complained about us” hmm.. Rasgulla happens to be the prettiest gal in our CBE academy, why would she complain about guys, everyone adores her!!
“I thinks its about smoking in the roof, I saw couple of guys smoking behind the food court” the guy next to me said. Everyone started their own guestimations and the academy head entered the class with a sarcastic smile. He took time to read our anxious faces and started..
“it’s good to be away from home.. freedom right!!.. but remember with freedom comes responsibility”
I was like ‘ahan!!.. so!!’
“I’m not going to tell you don’t drink, don’t smoke but do remember if u were at home would u take that extra peg……… and that’s how the half’n hour session about freedom, food, cleanliness(!!!) Went on.
[P.S]:Still it is a mystery wat was told at the ‘all gals’ meeting in other class.

[P.S2]:All the gals in my team are beautifull, not just rasgulla.. and no one threatened me to write this.. :D

I'll be Back..

Writing something nice before going somewhere is sort of a ritual for bloggers and thats exactly what i planned to do. but things don't go well always as u planned and today i learned it the hard way (haggain).

Last night or should i say early morning(2 A.M) i realized that i forgot to visit my favorite god Namakkal Anjeneyar(hanuman) and the pending 108 rounds in his temple. somehow got up early in the morning and took a bus to namakkal which was 2hrs away from here, less i knew this bus would BreakdowN in between and it would take me 3hrs to reach there.

Namakkal Anjeneyar statue is one of the tallest and the speciality about it is that his face expression would be what you think it is, Angry or Smiling its based on your perspective and to me, today he looked very sarcastic!!

My agenda for my last (Jobless) day at home was very simple;

1.Visit Namakkal Anjeneyar(done)

2.Take a short (beauty)nap in the afternoon to compensate last night's quota.(which would be interupted by the usual 2hrs power cut in the afternoons)

3.Start packing stuff to coimbatore, topup for all 3 mobiles.

4.write a nice blog

5.Call all important freinds and inform them tat you are leaving to coimbatore.

6.Double check the certificates and attested copies.

After an hour of disturbed sleep i woke up to see 4 missed calls and 2 new messages. The meassage read "Ravi became father, start immediately to Vijaya hospital" and this was only the second time one of my friends is becoming a father. Spent an hour at the hospital and then me and my friends went to our usual hangout(kutti chevuru). My friends might have thought it isn't appropriate to ask me treat one more time so it was just juice this time. After paying the bill i gazed my wallet and there was not even a single rupee left!! but who cares, tomorro i'll be going to coimbatore with my wallet full.

We had a 2hr long discussion about girls, accidents, girls, saloons, girls, bikes, bangalore, girls...,,,... by now i knew i have to reschedule my agenda. I started to home at 9.30pm , half way through the fuel got dried up!! that moment i was thinking "why now!!... why me...!!".

Atleast i had few rupees balance left in one of the mobiles, yet i had to push/drag my bike for about 2.5kms and by the time i reached home it was 10.15 already and a huge uphill task of packing all stuff was to be completed.

11.30P.M now i had two plans;

Plan A: inform friends tat i'm leaving (OR) Plan B: Write a blog, don't bother its funny or interesting.

I took few mins to decide whom should i call first and then made call to one of my dearest friends. i told him in excited tone tat i'm leaving to coimbatore tomorro and

he: "oh! really.. i didn't know, why machan anything important!!"

me: "da!! u are kidding right!!"

he: "you fool.. u've been telling this for the past 2 months.. don't u ever get bored telling this!!" well tats a typical response of a 'MaX' gang guy.

"and yeah.. coimbatore is just 153 kms from here, why this build up man!! as usual we are going to meet next weekend, now just go to sleep"

And thats exactly why i didn't mention coimbatore in my prefered locations.. it was actually bangalore, chennai and kolkota. thanks to my company, they might have tought i should be nearer to my city.

so it was obvious Plan A is going to be a great failure yet i wasn't in a mood to sit in front of the computer. i changed make call plan to send sms..

i typed "I'am leaving to CBE tomorro morning, 9 P.M train. will miss you all-max"

Chose send to many option instead of group sms and started sending it to my friends, while i was sending it to probably for 16th guy i got a reply and i eagerly opened it.

it read;

"dai, dabsa kanna.. morning 9 pm train ah! go and sleep da"

Plan A, was a total disaster. now u know whether i executed Plan B(1.08a.m).

For your comments

A picture is worth a thousand words..

I wud like to read a few from you.. :D :)

Fifty 5

My mom was watching ‘sathyam shivam sundaram’ movie today and later she told me the story of the movie in which Shashi kapoor fells in love with jeenat and then marries her not knowing that she has burnt one side of her face.

I asked my mom “is this what they call one side love!!!”

so tat's my fifty5 word fiction for the 55 word challenge, btw it isn't a fiction actually, i couldn't watch this movie with my mom coz it was too damn sexy and jeenat was way too ultra hot.. i wonder how one can fall in love with a woman and make love with her(yes she gets pregnant) not looking her other side of the face!!

In the name of Cricket

June 17th, early in the morning I woke up with my mobile message tone. Obviously the sms was from my junior. It read..

What do you think about india’s debacle in T20 world cup?
a) Fatigue on account of IPL.
b) Poor Captionship.(captainship!!)
c) Poor batting.
Say only one most valid reason.

.

That’s when I realized Indian team has lost their 3rd super 8s match too. I didn’t watch other two matches either but that doesn’t mean I hate cricket. Being an Indian if I say here that “I’m a great cricket fan” it wud be like a sardar saying “I like tandoori chicken”(my national bird too is tandoori chicken). But there’s difference being a cricket fan and a ‘dumb cricket fan’.

To start with, is T20 a sport?? Isn’t it just a hit or miss game!!

I could watch a whole five day test match or a one day match staying up late night, that’s where the real fun is. Waiting for the rare wicket, watch people work hard for every single run, boundary or wicket.

And IPL.. its just too much of T20 for me.. Its like getting nauseated by eating a whole box of swiss chocolates(bought from local duty paid shop) gifted by a friend who has returned from US on site(he..he.. :D), simply too much in a short time schedule. Obviously it is impossible for a human body to endure such treatment. I wud say IPL is the ugliest form of cricket. Guess wat! Next IPL schedule too comes right between important international matches.

.

I replied to my junior:

“I don’t like T20, i dont watch it”

He: “I like all about cricket” !!!

Q & (A) :D

I’ve been tagged by Vani and since its the first time someone tags me, lemme be a good boy and do it right away..

Q: When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
A: Never ever ever ever ever never ever go to that hair dresser again.

Q: How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?
A: 75 paise(very embarrassing)

Q: What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
A: Score

Q: What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
A: Manmatha leelayai vendraar remix..

Q: Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
A: Bonda(pradeesh)

Q: What are you wearing right now?
A: top half of my detachable cargos,.

Q: Do you label yourself?
A: nah.. its for priced products i am priceless :D

Q: Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently own?
A: Bata’s beta (duplicate)

Q: Bright or Dark Room?
A: for wat!! I sense something sexy in this Q!!

Q: What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
A: She must be very kind to tag me and popularize me thru her blog..

Q: What does your watch look like?
A: mobile.. no watch..

Q: What were you doing at midnight last night?
A: watchin the movie ‘UP’ 2nd time

Q: What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
A: Nutty, explaining me wats this tag thing is all about..

Q: What’s a word that you say a lot?
A: kandippa, cool.

Q: Who told you he/she loved you last? (Please exclude spouse , family, children)
A: I think tat’s wat Arjun wud hav said in his language tilting his head slightly to the right, when i fed him the whole parle-G biscuit packet.

Q: Last furry thing you touched?
A: Obviously, Arjun but he isn’t tat furry.. he’s just a dash..

Q: Favorite age you have been so far?
A: 13 to 18, my golden years..

Q: What was the last thing you said to someone?
A: mouth irukkavan vada saapdaran, unekenda..!

Q: The last song you listened to?
A: from my mom for not going to pondy to visit my bro.. (song.. paattu ketathuthane!!)

Q: Where did you live in 1987?
A: same as in 1997, 2007 and now..

Q: Are you jealous of anyone?
A: am jealous of any guy less than 80kg..

Q: Is anyone jealous of you?
A: Hope not..

Q: Name three things that you have on you at all times?
A: all times!! Self esteem, smile, humor does tat count!!! If not, undys..

Q: What’s your favorite town/city?
A: sorgame endralum athu nammoora pola varuma!! salem.. very peacefull..

Q: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
A: i sent an inland letter to my friend in Kolkata a year ago.. wrote alagusuntharam/black beauty in TO address.. it was fun to know my letter reached him travelling all the way to kolkata.

Q: Can you change the oil on a car?
A: will i be called ‘velakennai’ if i say 'i can’t!!'

Q: Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
A: Crush-probably married
Love- about to get married

Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?
A: my neck.. i shudn’t hav attended tat rahul gandhi b’day party/meeting, wat more hurts is tat they didnt show me in local channel news too..

Q: What is your current desktop picture?
A: some weird funny alien picture from devianart

Q: Have you been burnt by love?
A: YES..(don't expect a sad story here.. i never proposed)


Now i tag Nutty, Nitin, siva, wacky, Tangerine and anyone one else anonymously following my blog..

Random Thoughts

Moderation:
I submitted comment on a blog about how moderation pisses off ppl.
there was this message after i clicked submit button

Please Note: Your comment is awaiting moderation. (!!!) :D :D

======>S<=======

My sense of humour:

One day i was sitting in guindy railway station (alone as usual) and a beautiful gal sat next to me. i noticed she was wearing our college ID tag

(anna univ students never remove their tags till they go home, they think its a proud thing to be a anna univ product, unike me. other day i saw a gal wearing it all the way to salem.. shissh..)

She seemed to be in a hurry, looking either side(!!!!) of the track every 5.3 secs.

and then she asked me

"Time Enna aachu!!!"

.

tryin to impress her, i said..

.

"Waste aachu" :D :D

.

isn't tat funny!! but she never spoke a word again..

yet another..,

A girl asked me "how should i call my grand father's brother's daughter's son!!!"

.

i said

.

"with his name.." :D

======>S<=======

My short story 1 - The day I almost doped..

SCENE 1: Knowing
It was the day before our thermodynamics cycle test and I was (alone) with my friend in his hostel room, though I was a day scholar it was always fascinating for me to cheat the warden and stay in the college hostel once in a while and this time it was for cycle test preparation. Other guys went to the mess and the door was locked from outside, just to avoid any suspicions.

Suddenly the door was unlocked with loud noise and within a fraction of second I jumped under the cot.

Just for a moment I was thinking what would be the punishment for staying illegally in hostel, will they suspend me or dismiss me from college!!

And then the one entered spoke up.. “machieee,(laughing) special parcel from theni da..” I could hear both were joyous so I came out from my 'under' cover and there was a neatly packed, crushed leaves in a polythene packet, about 100gms I guess. I asked him “what parcel machi.!!”

He said “herbal product da.. good for health especially for youth..”
I was so stupid tat time, I asked him “have to mix with milk and drink da!!”
Both laughed loud and then in a low tone of voice “doppu machi doppu, ithu kudikarathu illa, adikarathu” (its not to drink, to smoke)!!

That is when I learned dope means kanja in students’ dictionary.

SCENE 2: Mix
I realized I can’t remember all(any) formulas and started writing notes(bit), though other padips(nerds) invited me to their rooms, I was not interested, I wanted to know what he’s going to do with that parcel. But, to my surprise he didn’t even touch it till he completed the whole ‘Concepts of Entropy’ chapter that was even more frustrating to me.

“FINISHED..” he said, dropping the huge domkundwar book on his table. “Let us start our mission”

Mission!!

He took a Kings cigarette (a product of ITC) and a slightly thicker metal wire bent in front like a spatula. For me he was like a scientist working with an atom bomb. He removed the tobacco in the cigarette and took few gms of dope(ganja) from the packet and then mixed it with the tobacco.

Looking at me, he said “mixing is the most important thing, 50:50 is always the best”
Again he filled the cigarette with the 50:50 mix he made and said “let’s move to the roof”
“Dai, its already 12pm da, we need to…” before I could complete he said “perfect, it’s just the perfect time for us”.

SCENE 3: Roof
Our correspondent was a great visionary, though he is money minded, he named the boy’s hostel blocks as Ramanujam block, C.V.Raman block and we were on the roof of Abdul kalam block.

Each of us took two hollow bricks and made our seats.

He took a match stick and lighted the cigarette(dope) so stylishly which reminded me the Madavan intro scene in the Minnalae movie in which he lights up his cigarette and says “mechanical’na oru fire venum da”(will u believe that, that was the reason I chose mechanical over CS!!)

As he started to ‘smoke the weed’ I was thinking about the Kamal hasan movie ‘Kalaingan’ in which a girl smokes dope and kamal figures out with its smell. To my disappointment this was no different; it was as disgusting as the normal cigarettes.

It was awkwardly silent in the roof, even the ever noisy final year wing was unusually silent (I bet they were watching the ‘saamy padam’ in the Dormitory room computer).

He was almost half way through his ‘Mission’ and then I asked “isn’t it very cold out here machi!!” just to break the silence.

“That’s how it would be if your college is in the middle of no where, no good scheduled place where u have to travel 10kms just to take a print out… Sshit… this blood suckers… “

Wat!!! all that I asked is… anyway its not him, its tat doppu. I could see he made ‘S‘ bend twice with his body like a snake dancer. I thought its better to remain silent and I started counting the stars.

“Stand” he said, rising from his seat. I thought he’s finished with his ‘mission’.

“Here, have a puff” it sounded more like command.

“What!! me!! no da, please I am not used to it, moreover we have cycle test tomorrow” I was in a begging voice, but why!! he is not more stronger than me.

“there are two ways I can make you do it, either by breaking this brick in your head” pointing his seat/bricks. “but I wont do that, coz you are my friend” so much for his friendship.

“The second way is” he walked towards the edge of the roof and somehow I knew what he’s gonnu say.
“I’ll jump off the roof if you don’t” it was so scary, the wind seemed pushing him and he was already doing snake dance. And this very roof has a track record of two deaths already, but that was during its construction.

I was left with no choice, I said “just one puff”
“Okie, tat’l do”
As the cigarette approached my lips he said “that’s my boy” backing off from the edge.

I should have sucked in a lot of gas inside, it felt so horrible in my throat. I made sure it doesn’t pass down my throat and pretended to take it to my lungs.

A few seconds passed and then he said “did you eat it!! Let it out idiot”

And that’s how I almost doped. I could still feel the irritating sensation in my throat as I write this.

.

I liked to write more about how a intelligent bloke like him became a mentally disturbed guy, but i guess its better to end this way.

all incidents and names(if there is any) are purely fictional, resemblance to any person living, dead or in rehab is just coincidence.

Why not FM radio in stethescope!

Not many times i get to know a medical student but here i am chatting with a medico gal trying to befriend her with my weird ideas..

ME: y didn't ppl get tat idea.. i mean there's FM in torch, army knife even pen.. y not FM in steth which u ppl hang around ur neck all time..Idea illatha pasanga.. <not bad uh!!>

SHE: Its already difficult to count beats for 1 min, v usually end up countin da beats fr 30 secs and multiplyin it by 2.<wat!!!> if there's FM, MP3 finished!! da patient vil hav our own imaginary counts per min..

ME: ya.. tats the prob with med students.. cant multitask..

(thinking she might get offended i added,,)

moreover u can switch it off when the real purpose of it comes..i always wanted to break open a steth.. wats inside it!! sensor! <uff!! u nerd...>

SHE: i really wonder how u cum out wid ideas lik dat <gr8 tat worked>
..i hav nvr broken a steth...will do it wen i go bak to da hosp and tell u wats inside it...
<bad influence he he..>

ME: i always wondered this..normally my heart beat raises when a mallu nurse counts my pulse.. then hw wud they find exact count..i think there must be a error correction factor when a lady counts it..

SHE: but all v get to count s very Old thaathass beats only <poor gal>

..but v hav checkd it out wid our class guys..wat u say is rite!!da beat goes up!!!all boys r da same...jollu parties(Flirts)... <wat!!! though can't disagree with her>

ME: u shud take it as compliment not the other way and call us jolls.<tat was gud, isn't it>

god or nature whoever it is, created opposite sex for just one purpose.. increase their count..and its natural to be excited for an untrained eye when encounter a female species with lovely eyes and soft fingers pressing his hand.. <and this is how worse i cant get.. shishhh...>

SHE: my god!!!really weird!!!nutts!!

.

Just in case u guys u want to know more..

she blocked me and removed me from frend list later on..

making full use of it

Once upon a time <he he> i had this (BPO)interview in chennai and i stayed in my friend's room tat night. it was more a like a dormitory where i had to sleep next to my frend's roomie who was talking on his mobile all time, no prizes for guessing.. it was his girl frend wit whom he was talking to..

late in the night i woke up hearing..
beep beep beep...
it was his mobile, showing low battery signal..
and wat did i see!! the call was not cancelled..!!

i tried to wake him up but even b4 tat my frend shouted..

"***** sswitcchh off ur ***** mobile.."

Morning, out of curiosity i asked him
did u forgot to cancell the call last night dude!!
he said,
No man, y shud i!! iam using free call scheme.. i'll be satisfied only if my monthly usage crosses 100hrs.. <wat!!!.>
and then he said..
I am paying so much money!! am making full use of it dude..

it was his mobile, his money alright,. but is this making full use of it!!

==>God bless indian youth<==

Existence Vindicated

It was a rainy summer(!!!) night.. i was so damn bored and couldn't get sleep. Started watching this movie Twilight. So much was said about this movie but all i wanted to do is watch this movie, delete the file and free 700MB space in my hard disc. Surprisingly movie was very interesting. Dracula falling in love with human!! tat was new.

And then this happened..

It was 1.46 A.M, 21 deg Celcius, a dog barking in distance and all of a sudden my mobile shivered once, i was so sure it was my junior who sends me at least 20 sms per day.

Opened the inbox and it was mail alert!!

it said 'Mail from Cognizant'.. and thats it.. i freaked out..

i threw my mobile in the bed(y i threw! still i don't know) and opened GMail and there it was.. the mail i waited, expected, prayed, begged should come to me for the past one year was there. It was the joining intimation mail. Arguably tat was the happiest moment in my life

.

I was the first one to report it in orkut.. :)

For the first time

Here i am, finally with my blog, having got bored with orkut, facebook, hi5 and all other social networking crap. Should have done this long time back but for wat! to tell the whole world how boring my life was in all this one god damn year!! how i was victimized by this recession!!
nah.. i am not goin to do that anymore. now that my existence is vindicated(ah! got title for my next blog) no more invisible mode in gtalk, no more fighting with crazy paks in forums and yeah no more attempts to portray myself as working from home.
oh! i didnt mention.. i got my joining date from the company i got selected..